Communion Day Prayer

Bless my Lutheran roots. I forget sometimes the magic that tradition has over me. Oh, how Holy the table was for me today. I love communion. It is the perfect reminder of the broken flesh and shed blood. It called me into needed reflection. I want to share the psalm like confession I wrote today.

I have called on you and found you distant.

Yet in my seeking I have not set time aside for you.

Yet, O LORD, when I seek You,  You are there.

Your love and mercy abundantly shimmers in all the cracks of existence.

Radiantly You are on display.But I must look.

Do not let me be content with blindness.

Let me be disciplined to go after You.

May my faithfulness to You be as Yours to me.

Let me know You in my seeking.

Give me quiet, still, moments to reflect on Your ways.

Let me take in Your Holy Word.

Never let me flee or be stagnant.

Do not let my thoughts linger on this world.

For You are man’s strength.

You are hope and life.

You reign forever.

If you know me, encourage quiet time. It is hard to make routines sometimes.

I Count it All as Loss Anyways. Welcome to Adulthood.

So, my anthem for entering the real world is Paramore’s new hit Ain’t It Fun.  One of the best lines is “what are you going to do when the world don’t open around you?” And I think I have an answer. The song says in the real world that ain’t it fun that I can’t count on no one? Well that is never true. Even in the real world I am never alone. And what am I going to do? I am going to have joy, peace and love.

My God is with me. I have Him and His body of believers. That being said, I like the song because right now one of my goals in life is to get to the point that I can take care of myself financially. Right now my parents still pay my phone bill and for my car insurance and. I have everything else (mostly) down. But my savings is low in the face of unexpected expenses.  Everything breaks down. You know the drill. Everyday is an adventure. Car, fridge, AC, utilities, glasses, hospitals. So many things that take so much money.  If you are an adult you know the kind of things I am talking about. Something is always needing replaced or updated.  Maybe you are super used to it by now. I am new to it.  The trick to facing them is joy. Joy in my unforeseen expenses.  Even when they all come at once.

Yeah, we might be broke for awhile. But that’s the real world. The world doesn’t revolve around us. But there are so many people that will guide and assist us. Not because we are special but because they have love.  I am so blessed by all of them. My father, my roommates and my landlord. My boyfriend, my family, my friends. I have them to stand with me. I will doubtfully not feel the full impact of any of those cost. One day I will.  But even if I did not. Even if I manage to lose my water, car and food… so what?

I keep thinking of Philippians 3:8. 

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ. 

All I have is worth nothing. Hard to be upset when I keep that in mind. I have all the riches that are beyond the world. So what if I lose some worldly riches? I hope that I can hold onto that as I continue to have that all surpassing peace as I continue to live in the adult world and face all it’s cost.

Stay strong adult friends. It’s a rough life with the best reward.

Ain’t it Fun by Paramore  (Click to listen)

The Pain of Sacrifice.

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Wonderful Cross

I think passionate Christians speak a bit too joyfully of giving their all in all. We romanticize the Christ likeness of it and never speak of how hard and how painful it is. True sacrifice requires something of you. It isn’t fun. We do what is right and sometime its at a cost. I think that is why good Friday is so good. We remember that Christ’s sacrifice was hard and it hurt and that He had to be exasperated from his father. Sometimes we confuse being kind with being sacrificial. We tithe, we give to the poor some, we help a friend move. We pat ourselves on the back and move on feeling better about ourselves. Being sacrificial makes us holier and makes us more like Jesus. But it isn’t necessarily supposed to make us feel happy. If it makes us feel better was it really a sacrifice?  I had to make one recently. It had the potential to make my life much harder and I hated every minute of knowing what I was about to do. It was the right thing to do. I am glad I did it.  It sucked. Just like a sacrifice is supposed to. Remember Isaac? Remember that trip he took with his father that one day? Sacrifice feels how Abraham must have felt before we do it. But, O, how it is worth it! How we rejoice in our submission and obedience to our Father. How abundant is our call to come and die. How precious Jesus and how wonderful His cross. 

The Lie of the Coffin

I have been cranking KLove lately. If I am humming something around my coworkers I want it to be about Jesus. One of the songs I heard today was played at a friends funeral last week. Her heart for God was evident on every life that came to her memorial service. Her testimony had touched us all. God had clearly known her and she Him. I cried many times that weekend. Even tears of joy at a friends wedding the next day. We all would have done ANYTHING to have her back. Yet, me and my friends had the comfort of knowing that this was God’s will. That her accident happened under His sovereignty. We are also not the ones that miss her presence at the table for every meal. Her families grief, and her closer friends all took a much bigger blow than me.

I had joy. I felt it in the many moments of silence and sniffles I felt it. Hope, truth, love, grace.. it was all here. In her life. It was with us. We knew she was home. Perfectly in Ch\rist, with Christ forever. Even though nothing would be the same for anyone, today was a victory. She dies in Christ. Satan and sin can never torment her again. There is no death in Christ.

Romans 6:8-10 …Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.…

She died with Christ. She could never die again after that. That is the truth.  We long to be home with her. I can’t imagine the pain of her family. But I can’t wait to see them reunited and I cannot wait to be reunited with all of the people that have been lost to us as well. It is also pure happiness that that is the least of my joy to come. Christ Himself will triumph the joy of any reunion.

We miss you Nina. See you soon.

And I will say that we should take a day to break away
from all the pain our brain has made
the game is not played alone
And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it
and keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone.