I had my first really good “Jesus” conversation at Sozo a few days ago. A young personable man came in. He remembered the building from the pancake feed GAMe ministries (who runs Sozo) puts on on St. Patricks day. He told me how the man there told him about meeting Jesus and though he respected the mans stance, he also thought the man was a little off. He then straight up asked me if I was a christian and if the ministry was still there.
If that isn’t an invitation I don’t know what is!
Because he was good humored I told him that I was a super christian! I told him about GAMe and OMC and gave a brief testimony in a few words about how God has called me into ministry. He asked the logical follow up question “So like a pastor?”
“A youth pastor, I wouldn’t want to be the senior pastor.”
“Why not”
He was honest, well humored and really asking. So I gave him my real answer, bluntly. “Because I am a girl.”
“Isn’t that sexist?” he worded it carefully. He could tell this was important to me and he was being sensitive. I liked him, I think the girl he was waiting for got a good one. “Sorry” he added in case he offended me.
“I am hard to offend” I laughed.
“That’s good me too, isn’t that sexist.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
I wasn’t overly prepared for this. I told him first about the requirements in 1 Tim and how I didn’t qualify for that and that made me feel like not trying to take the head leadership role in evangelical churches. I told him that it would be disobedient in my calling and that I WANTED a man over me. I think that would have stirred some people. I think if Chris had told someone that I preferred a man in charge of me they would wrongly rise to my defense. I am not to be owned and I am not less than man! Correct! But not taking the highest position doesn’t make me less than the man in it. In fact in Christian circles power is an illusion. The guy at top is just the person is the biggest servant! He is a shepherd and required to lay down his life for the sheep. All the sheep have to do is follow. I think the sheep have the better slot personally. It’s not something I would have said as a teenager. I was disobedient at heart then. But the closer I have gotten to God the more I loved submitting.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes I want to go straight to the top and take over! Sometimes I know I could do a better job than a friend. I am only called to be obedient to my husband and I like man was made in God’s image. So when it is wise for me to take charge I will and I will do it well. Because I have the capability to in many areas. I just don’t need to be. Same with a church, I don’t need to I am not called to. Read Titus 1:7-9 that is the job description and it is talking about males. Now, I still am seeking a leadership position. But my authority over the church will be under the authority of a males. I told him I know there are female pastors and that I doubt their calling in honesty. I also told him I can’t be sure they wern’t. God has done far crazier things!
Then I told him that I was engaged. I got one of the best high fives of my life. I told him about the role of Chris in our relationship. He is called to give himself up for me as Christ did for us. That means when Chris rules over me, when he makes a decision he is doing it for my good. Because he loves me enough to lay down his life. If I am serving someone with my needs at his heart I am really serving myself because I am serving my husband and God. He is called to care for me like his own flesh. When we get marries and become one flesh when we care for each other it is for our good as well. The man nodded and told me that was interesting. Not sure what that meant and his date arrived so I made them both coffee and they sat down.
I think it’s scary for people to think that some people want somone’s authority over them. My God, my parents, my husband. If any of those people didn’t love me and care for my honor, dignity, needs and soul it is a broken cycle and it can be ugly and harmful to submit. Especially when our submission is forced and is made cruel. But that isn’t anything I have experiences. Godly men are worth investing in.
So in conclusion, I told him what I do in the church is just as important in the Kingdom. I am just suited for different roles and prefer different parts. For instance, yesterday as I drove home from youth group a spider crept down my window. I called Chris, it was almost time for him to be done and I was not going to deal with that. I could have if I wanted to but he was better suited for it and I didn’t want to. He could add it to the list of other dozens of creatures that broke my insect personal space arrangement. I was happy to let Chris lead in that situation and I am happy to have a man lead my church and it isn’t because I am lesser.
Taking a bunny trail, I had an event this morning where I interacted with a man who ran across the street to help me set up work this morning. He told me he was trying to leave his mistake behind and was trying to get rid of it. He was referring to the human being sitting outside the apartments that drunkenly called after him. He was a bit tipsy himself. He was reaping what he sowed last night. She followed him following me. Brokenness in a broken relationships where two people who cared nothing for each other chose to enter into a relationship of sorts. He tried to sound like the better man who was paying penance for his ways last nights. He tried to make it sound like it was all her. But the truth is that he was responsible as well. Referring to her as a mistake or as ‘it’ didn’t help either. It didn’t make him look better in the situation as he was hoping. Explaining this wasn’t normal for him didn’t help the situation. He was supposed to be the leader, she was supposed to be wise. If a spider was on her windshield she would have been on her own and that is wrong. That isn’t functional.
These may have been a bit scattered. I stayed up all night reading “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhaun and went to work early. I guess the point is that my name is Jennifer and I am okay with submitting to authority and I am okay with men being given a different type of authority than me. I actually like it. I can serve god mightily from ‘lesser’ positions in just as grand ways. I can do anything God enables me to do from anywhere.
My views on my roles of authority in the church are still maturing. Start your study in scriptures then go to better opinions than mine. Read Titus, Timothy, 1 Cor 14 and look into Pheobe and Pricsilla. Tell me what you think.
On This Side. 